A Break From Twitter

So I decided to take a break from the infamous microblog site ; twitter. The reason was ... well, it became more and more toxic (d'uh). Turned out the people that I followed were ... not so 'open-minded' as they claimed themselves to be. I'm not being sad about it or anything ... in fact, I'm grateful that I had the chance to see the true them before it's too late.

It started with this article. The writer - Revina - told us how the 'our body our authority' also came with 'our responsibility'. She wrote a piece on how someone who had unprotected sex should be prepared with the consequences. At this case, the queen-mother of consequences (Indonesian version) : unwanted pregnancy. As we all know, Indonesia's health law prohibited abortion unless it was medical indication (emergency) or in rape case where it could cause trauma for the mother.

Revina talked about the consensual unprotected sexual intercourse and its consequences. Like it or not, as much as it's supposed to be both parts' responsibility, the law when it comes to unwanted pregnancy couldn't help the woman as much as it should be. There weren't any criminal law for the man, only civil law. As someone who works in the law field, Revina also described that even though civil law could somehow force the man to take responsibility, the process would be long and with high cost as to take DNA test, etc.

I had encountered enough of DNA paternity cases before. Most of them were unpleasant, especially if the result was far from what the family expect. I saw them cried. I faced insults. I got offered some bribery (as if there is enough money to switch the DNA structures of a baby, so NO!) and I got conclusion that : one should be prepared with the consequences when it comes to unprotected sex in Indonesia. In front of the law, the judge would see things as it is. A result of consensual unprotected sex would always put the woman in the wrong part - not to mention the stigma from the society.

So I agree with Revina when it comes to 'take responsibility'. If you don't want pregnancy, then make sure you're protected. Yes, one's body one's authority but don't forget the responsibility, please. Yes we all wish for fairness in law as well as society, but whether we like it or not ... the woman - who carried the child - would often forced to take the scarlet letter. So before the day the law changed, we should be careful.

Okay, Revina was a bit harsh when she said 'consensual unprotected sex = 'consent' to get the consequences', for the sex education was still not enough and fair throughout Indonesia due to 'taboo' and such ... but for those who know the consequences, sane and be able to give consent to consensual sex, they should prepare for the consequences. I agree with her in this.

However, some of my friends in twitter are strongly disagree with her. It's okay, we all have our own opinion, but I hate the way they tried to bash her by bringing up her old mistakes, twisting her words, quoting her article and said 'look at her, she's agaisnt woman's right' even though she clearly said she is more than willing to help woman with unwanted pregnancy. They twist the article as if Revina talked about unconsensual sex (rape, statutory, etc). I tried to speak up my mind, trying to tell them : yes, her words are strong but the message she tried to give is got the point.

One of them told me : go read this tweet about consent. Yes, thank you. I read that. Yes, I perfectly understand that if one gives consent but changes one's mind, the other must not force themselves and respect that. But not all people understand that and it would be hard when they tried to take it to court. The fact that "I do agree to do sexual intercourse but I changed my mind later, but I was forced to do so" would seldom be accepted in court.

Yes it is unfair. Yes we all want it to change. As someone who deal with this kind of case, I want justice to be served. The bitter truth is, the chance is pretty rare that the judge would accept such testimony. They would think "She's making that up / if she didn't agree she should be from the start / and another accusation"

That's what she tried to say. Until that day come, let's all be careful and use our authority on our body wisely - aware with the consequences and all. Unfortunately some people are too emotional to see it. And plenty of them use dirty ways to force her to say "I take it back.". Old 'digital trace', even body-shaming ... the things most of the 'open minded people' was usually refused to do so. Turned out we all will use double standard eventually.

Soo ... I decided to take a break. I'm gonna alter my socmed to play UNO or read WattPad. It's better for my mind at the moment.

Ps. Deepest condolences for Naya Rivera's family and friends. I just heard the news this morning. May you rest in peace, Naya ... and may God give strength to everyone close to you.