Ambis

 

Just yesterday another hullabaloo happened in twitter (surprise, surprise). This time it was about an infamous stand-up comedian slash influencer who proudly claimed that he texted his employee after midnight regarding work matters. He also claimed that he - as a boss - was very, very strict (to put it mildly) and not hesitate to fire his employee. As expected, he got plenty of scloding because people think that he's being inhuman to his employee. I don't care about what his motive was when he proudly wrote that status. However, some of the interesting comments caught my attention. 

Some people said that in this 'cruel world', one shoudl be ready to work, work and work if they wanted to succeed. Someone even boldly (if not cruelly) claimed that work-and-life balance is a myth. It only existed for rich and priviledge people. The others who are not so lucky must gave more than 100%. Another comment said that 'rest' is something that does not exist in his life. He work 24/7. Literally. He spent what supposed to be his leisure time doing side jobs and he enjoyed it. 

Well I used to think that way too. As some of you might know, I used to be this brainbox girl ever since senior high school. I got the first / second rank in class. In medical school, I was the average survivor but most of my friends said I was so dilligent. And yes, I'm going to say it out loud now : I used to be an ambitious girl. 

That's me. 

Behind my calm appearance, I was that girl who studied practically 24/7. I felt guilty if I left the study materials unread for more than half an hour, I pushed myself to work on my assignments until I lost my sleeping time, etc. I was that role model student parents were comparing their kids to. Even as a little girl, I had studied Kumon and my math was about 2-3 years ahead of my school-mates. Those people who support me always tell me that we had to work if we want a bright future. Sounds familiar, eh? 

Well, to me now those words were like double-sided sword. In a way, it's good because we became discipline, appreaciate the time and digging our potentials. But on the other hand, it could make us ambitious to the point that we forgot what is life is all about. Sounds cheesy, right? But imagine this ... 

We never know how much time we had in this world. Of course it is a good thing to think about our future and prepare for it. Being ambitious and obsessed about it, is another story. Being ambitious means we practically gamble what we have in the present for whatever-it-is we're thinking our future might be. For example, once, I was pushing myself too hard that I got gastritis. The gastritis happened because I work, work and wokr until I substitute my meal with granolla bars and my sleep with endless cups of black coffee. I got admitted into ER and the doctor practically yelled at me for giving myself a break. I was forced to get 2 days off work. I spent my two days feeling guilty for resting of myself because people around me were making me believe that self-care is only for weaks and spoiled brats. 

Hell, one of my colleague who scolded me said : "You're taking two days break just because of gastritis? What kind of nonsense is that! Back in my days, my friend showed up to work with intravenous line still attached to his hand. Now that's what I called being a real doctor." 

Believe it or not, some of us were brainwashed by the society to think that we're nothing but a bunch of machines instead of human being. We're forced to normalize the super-toxic working environment that forbid us to rest and even pray. We were praised if we sacrifice our mental and/or physical health for work. As the time went by, we became more and more machine-like. We began to think it was normal to live with that kind of life rhytm. And if someone told us otherwise, we easily scold and accused them for being weak and jealous of what we had achieved. 

What did we achieve now, exactly? The money we stack in our banks? The A+ on our report cards? The praises we got for being the role-model student? The contents of textbooks we managed to cram into our heads? Were they worth our own health and sanity? 

My husband and I were quite the opposite in some ways. He, on the other hand, did not approve of being too ambitious both in career and academic. When he picked me up after I finished my board exam in Jakarta, he asked me about some of the medical students he met on his way. His questions were quite strange. 

"Why are they looking so zombie-like? Their eyes were blank. They seemed so absorbed in their own world. None of them were smilling. They were in groups but they didn't talk to each other.", he said to me. 

"Well, they probably went through one of the tough department ... like OBGYN or surgery or something...", I said. 

"Were you like that before?" he asked me. 

"More or less. I always bring a novel with me to put my mind at ease during hard time, though." I said to him. 

He shook his head, "Man, that was rough. And what for?"

"What do you mean 'what for'? We were taught to give 110% if we want to succeed.", I told him. 

"Okay listen. Here's the harsh truth about ambitious people. They work and work until they ill or worse, die. And what happen afterwards? The workplace would mourn for a while and then they easily replace them with another employee. What about the people they ignore like their families and friends? To them, they cannot be replaced.", he told me, "And was it worth having a good career and stacks of money in our bank if we're not happy and healthy? Is that life is all about?"

It hits me. He's right. Being ambitious was like being an addict. The 'reward' we got such as good grades, praises or extra cash were like the heroin injected into our vein. We felt intoxicated by them that we didn't realize it slowly kills us. We got so addicted that we didn't want to hear anything that contradicts our way of life. Even the people who genuinely care about us. 

We were told that dedicating our life to work will be worth plenty in the end. Will it? Imagine if we died just before we got that reward. How many 'if only's and 'what if's haunt us? 

If only I skip work for one day to have a day out with my parents

If only I wasn't so engrossed in my work that I pick up my child instead of yelling at them for being a brat, even though they're just want to play with their parents

If only I got more time to listen to my teenage child's problem, really listen to them and put myself in their shoes instead of taking a short-cut by telling them what an ungrateful brats they are and slamming the door in front of their tear-stained face 

What if I cut one hour of my studying/working time just to realize my surroundings? 

What if I gave myself more time to think about how my loved ones mean to me, instead of accusing them for being too clingy and needy before cutting their off my life and justify my actions for "get rid of distractions"? 

What if I give some of my earnings to take more care about myself, instead of stacking them in my bank and thinking 'I would do it tomorrow' every single day? 

etc, etc

People who are now familiar with the old me. I don't care if you're going to believe me or not, but in the end... all those 'earnings' we got, would mean nothing if we weren't healthy or happy. I guess 2020 taught us enough to re-think about our purpose in life. We thought we got everything figure out with our money and knowledge, then boom! Something happen. Plans were cancelled. We could only accept it with two options : spending our life in regret or trying to think outside our comfort zone in order to survive. 

Truth to be told, before the pandemic, I got some offer to improve my career. All I had to do is giving a little 'sacrifice' by being away from my family for half a year at least. The old me would jump into that opportunity in double-quick time. I got support anyhow. But at that time, I let the offer pass. Because I had enough of being so ambitious. Now, I just want to stop getting my nose on my book or my laptop and just re-live my life (whatever the heck that means). 

And even though I had no kids just yet. If someday I got my own children, I would not push them to do 'important' extra courses like maths or toher school subjects. I don't want them to grow up numbing their loneliness due to the absence of their parents with studying their asses off. I don't want them feeling the same fake-comforting of numbers and figures in math while forgetting that they're lonely. I don't want to guilt-trip them using the old phrase about how 'privilige'they are with all the opportunities, while I know for sure they lost their playtimes with the other kids. 

I am fully aware that my view would be scolded if I still live in the big ambitious capital city (or living my life like that). I would never be able to get enough money for my future kids or sweet easy life everyone dream of. I would waste my potentials, etc, etc. And you know what? I don't care. I'm now aware that there are things that are outside my control and working my asses of would not tame those things. As a believer, I know that each of us had our own sustenace and it would never accidentally exchanged. 

Why should I put my trust on promises people give to me and sacrifice my all for that? Allah had everything planned for me. Also 
 

Our rizq could not be taken by anyone. If it seemed like we didn't get what we deserve, that means Allah had another plan for us. In the eyes of the world, it might be 'worse' compared to what might have been. What is a simple 'thank you' from people we help compare to tons of money and prestige we actually 'deserved'? I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I felt disturbed to see how my friends still pursuing their career and in the meantime I seemed struggled with my own ... but then I remembered the quote above and both my mind and heart would be at ease. Even though you're not believer, I suppose you also believe the 'law of attraction' or 'The Universe' right? 

So why so ambitious? :) 

Random Ramblings

You know one of the signs that you're actually going somewhere instead of just walking around in circles? is that you could hardly recognize who you are anymore. Or perhaps you found the reflection of the old you that you used to think as the 'ideal' self on someone else, and finding yourself loathing that ignorant-arrogant prick so much. The one who thought oneself booksmart, thinking that on has every dang thing figured out. The one who thought that science is the key of every questions in life, yet would stuck like upside-down dung beetle when life showed us something mightier and out of control. 

You even hate the phrase 'growing up' so much now. Growing up implies that you're becoming the better version of yourself. Now, you cannot tell are you getting better or worse. For those who had known you before, you're a foolish. You're becoming what they always stuck up their noses at. You're becoming a common person. An example of what society expect every one to be. Even though they know perfectly damn well this is not what you wish you could be before. 

You changed so much. Like Alice in Wonderland. You asked every creature you meet in between but they would scowl, laugh or gave you vague answers in stupid rhymes. Sometimes, they simply fly away leaving your questions unanswered. Who are you? Where are you supposed to go? And as the time goes those question and dozen others inside your head don't mean shit to you anymore. 

So you keep on walking. And walking. Wishing you get somewhere. You tried not to get your hopes up. Not planning anything. Stop wishing for anything. You just wanted to be happy and that's what you wanna do. 

Memory Lane

 A couple of years ago, I'm this blogger who update (quite) regularly. Usually it's random thoughts, book reviews or poetry. I also love to hop from one blog to another. I followed some infamous blogger too. Sometimes I read across this interesting blogger and I started following them. One of them is Naomi Neo. Her old blog is pretty much still here. I remember one of her writing after a bad broken heart she went through. The title of her writing is 'The People Who Care Enough Will Show it to You' the introduction felt like a pang to me :

"I kinda grew up believing that everyone's nice and I always choose to see the good in people instead of their shortcomings - I tend to find reasons or rather excuses for them whenever they disappoint me. Like if someone decides to only text me after 2 days of disappearing, I'd convince myself they were just busy. Or when someone tries to manipulate me into thinking I've done something wrong when they were they ones who clearly made a mistake, I'd lie to myself that perhaps they are right."

Y same *sighs*. I tend to think positively towards people and I look the other way on whether they deserve it or not. 

"Took me a lot of regrets and mistakes to finally realise I've to stop making excuses for them, because the people who care enough will show it to you." 

The last few months of 2020 seemed like they wanna wake  me up to that one simple dang fact. Because as harsh as it might be, some people do not deserve that kind of 'positive thinking' for you. If anything, they might take advantage of them and only use you as their doormatt. Okay, some people went through A LOT. Sometimes all they wanna do is just minimizing their social interaction for a while. Including with you, and that's fine. They might wanna clear up their mind a little. That, we should pay respect to, yes. 

However, we should draw the line between 'taking some time off' and 'deliberately ghosting people', the second one doesn't worth your time. Personally, I never ask much. I just want a clear answer when I text 'Hey are you alright'? Perhaps something like 'No. I need some time alone.' Believe you me, people who think I might get mad or think negatively about them because of that are not those whom I want to call 'friends'. 

Yes, I said that. My 'friends' know perfectly well that I hate being ghosted. They know that if I want some time alone, I will tell them that I'm busy/ unwell. Why? Because they're my friends and I respect their feelings. Being ghosted sucks. People can get very, very upset (to put it mildly) because of being ghosted. So for the love of God, do be so kind as to tell your friends that you want to be alone. Guess what? They don't think you're owing them anything, but don't you think they deserve an answer when they ask about how are you doing? 

If you don't think so, then let's agree to disagree, shall we? Because right now I just want to sit back, relax and enjoy what I have. And I am not responsible to anyone's mental well being. 

2020 Achievement

Usually at the end of the year I'd write long list on what I've achieved in that year and then another long list of what I wanna achieve. However, this year my list of  'achievements' are : 

1. Staying alive
2. Being able to help people along the way

Alhamdulillah, thanks be to Allah 

The Joy of Medsos

Barusan aja ada ribut-ribut di linimasa twitter saya soal anak yang marah-marah karena merasa privasinya dalam bermedsos diganggu. Anak ini punya akun twitter, dimana dia merasa itu adalah zona nyamannya. Nggak ada yang salah punya zona nyaman. Beneran deh, siapa yang nggak kepengen punya ruang untuk bebas berekspersi? Dimana kita bisa ngapain aja tanpa khawatir di-judge macem-macem. Mau jungkir balik ya silakan... tapi sayangnya, anak ini salah memilih zona nyamannya. Bukannya pakai buku diary berkunci atau menggunakan alias di twitter, dia malah membuat akun twitter dengan nama asli. Dan yang dia ekspresikan itu bukan sekedar tebakan receh, lelucon bapak2 atau meme yaoming yang aga nyeleneh ... ini nyerempet2 hal yang agak saru. 

Saat ini pembaca blog saya sih masih terbatas, tapi kalau nanti ada anak < 18 tahun yang baca, tolong tanyain baik-baik ke ortu/guru ya hal-hal saru itu kayak apa, dan jangan diikuti oke? Nah lanjut ... 

Ternyata ada yang screenshot twit2nya dan mengirim ke ibunya. Anak perempuan ini ngamuk-ngamuk sama si tukang ngadu. Dia mempost tangkapan layar chat dari ibunya dan ... tadinya saya mengira dia bakal post voice not ibunya yang nyanyi heavy metal kayak Aggretsuko kalau marahnya udah seubun-ubun ... 

Atau minimal ibunya ngirim video kode kayak ini *glek*. Ibunya 'cuma' minta anak itu cepat pulang sebelum ayahnya tahu, karena ibunya mau bicara, ibunya juga menanyakan apa uang yang diberikan ayah & ibunya selama ini kurang. Haduh ... kerasa banget ibunya sedih, kecewa & bingung melihat anaknya yang seperti orang lain di twitter. 

Anak ini jadi trending karena warganet yang komentar dibagi menjadi 2 kubu : 

1. Menyalahkan si anak yang 'mencari zona bebas berekspresi' tapi yang dieskpresikan itu hal-hal nyeleneh dan menggunakan identitas asli 

2. Membela si anak karena harusnya orangtua memberikan zona privais buat anak-anaknya

Kalau saya pribadi, saya setuju sama nomer 1. Media sosial itu bukan tempat yang tepat buat membongkar semua aib. Kenapa? Karena bisa dilihat semua orang dan jejak digital itu nggak akan hilang. Waktu zaman bbm dulu mulai ada status aja, orang yang tanpa sengaja menyalakan fitur 'now listening' dan kemudian menonton video 'minus-minus' & terupdate di statusnya, bisa kena 'pinalti' berupa discreenshot (dengan screen muncher yang ada bunyi 'kraukk'-nya) terus disebar kemana-mana. 

Apalagi sekarang? Zaman yang makin hari makin membuat saya merasa kayak di novel 1984-nya George Orwell. Diawasi terus oleh pengikut 'Bung Besar'. Dunia sosmed sudah nggak seperti dulu lagi, dimana saya khusus membuat akun twitter supaya bisa follow berita tentang orangutan di orangutan.org atau membuat akun facebook supaya bisa main game Pet Society. Sekarang, Twitter adalah wadah buat baku jempol dan kadang merebet jadi baku hantam di dunia nyata. Begitu juga dengan Facebook. Udah nggak keitung orang yang saya 'mute' karena makin hari statusnya makin bikin gerah. 

Harusnya kita lebih hati-hati. Untuk kasus si mbaknya, kalau dia mau mengunggah status-status saru dengan 'aman', lebih baik pakai akun anonim. Kecuali dia bikin masalah yang mengarah ke pengancaman kemanan orang lain atau bahkan negara... orang nggak akan repot-repot melaporkan ke Cybercrime POLRI kok. Paling cuma dikomentari 'wong edan' lalu dianggap sepi. 

Belajar dari yang dulu-dulu, sejak orang mulai suka persekusi keblunderan orang lain di medsos, seharusnya kita bisa tahu kalau memposting hal-hal nyeleneh dengan identitas asli itu beresiko tinggi. Jangankan hal-hal yang nyeleneh lah ... kita bikin status opini aja kadang bisa dibikin blunder sama orang lain. Apalagi kalau kita punya nama di medsos. Selebgram/twit lah istilahnya. Begitu diblunderkan, langsung jadi trending topic seindonesia raya. Ingat salah satu adegan di The Raid 2 dimana Iko Uwais 'ngumpet' di kamar mandi penjara dan di depan pintu sudah menunggu sekumpulan NAPI berbadan ala pemain Smackdown yang menggedor pintu dengan ganas sambil siap-siap mempermak si Iko jadi orek tempe? Kira-kira begitu rasanya ketika kamu blunder atau diblunderkan oleh orang-orang. 

Saya nggak pernah suka namanya persekusi baik digital atau di dunia nyata. Meskipun maksudnya baik, tapi maksud baiknya nggak tersampaikan karena yang dipersekusi keburu gondok duluan. Misalkan orang lagi nyetir mundur, mau nabrak tiang listrik terus mobilnya digedor-gedor sama puluhan orang terus dimaki-maki karena hampir nabrak tiang listrik, apa 'maksud baik'-nya bakalan nyampe? Yang ada kalau dia nggak semaput di mobil ya dia bakalan panik ngebut nabrakin itu orang-orang. 

Tapi ya ... itulah salah satu 'the joy of medsos' sekarang. Kalau nggak ribut seharii aja kayaknya ada yang kurang. Karena memblokir medsos bisa memancing protes orang-orang seindonesia raya, saat ini yang bisa kita lakukan adalah berhati-hati (banget) dalam bermain medsos.

Day ... of Twitter Detoxing

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Sudah hari (atau minggu) kesekian saya sign out dari akun microblog saya. Jauh dari ketubiran yang sudah jadi makanan sehari-hari, jauh dari 'Bung besar' dan 'Bung-bung kecil' yang rajin menyortir opini orang-orang untuk kemudian dijadikan bahan perundungan massal, jauh dari logical falacy yang digunakan sebagai senjata orang-orang yang mengaku 'berpikiran terbuka' dan jauh dari hal-hal toxic lainnya yang selama ini secara tidak sadar masuk ke pikiran saya. 

Beberapa akun 'txtdari'-blablabla itu contohnya. Mereka rajin melakukan tangkapan layar pada opini orang-orang tertentu, lalu menjadikannya bahan perundungan buat pengikutnya. Yaa memang belakangan ini mereka menyoret nama penggunanya, tapi sekarang penelusuran Twitter gampang banget digunakan untuk menguntit siapa yang mengirim post itu. Sudah bukan rahasia lagi, tinggal mengcopy-paste kata-kata yang ditulis di tangkapan layar itu dan voila! Dapat nama pengirimnya. Tinggal ditangkap layar lagi lalu disebarkan deh. Tulis saja balasan di akun 'txtdari' itu dan semua orang yang kepo langsung bisa dapat bahan rundungan baru. 

Ya saya setuju kalau fitur tersebut digunakan untuk menolong orang lain, misalkan menolong orang yang diancam / dikuntit / dll. Pernah ada orang yang mau menyebarkan foto telanjang mantan pacarnya di twitter, dia menyebarkan identitas mantan pacarnya tersebut dan warganet (yang waras) beramai-ramai merundung orang itu. Semua melaporkan akun tersebut, juga melakukan tangkapan layar untuk diberikan ke akun kepolisian. Beberapa LSM juga berkata akan mengawal kasus itu untuk melindungi korban jika fotonya beneran tersebar. Kalau untuk itu, oke saya setuju. Tapi kalau untuk merundung opini orang yang sebenarnya tidak berbahaya?

Dulu pernah ada seorang perempuan yang iseng memposting fotonya dengan caption yang mungkin agak cringe buat sebagian orang, tapi buat saya sebenarnya biasa saja. Hey, we all have our own cringey/alay times, no? Tapi dalam hitungan jam, ratusan balasan menyerang perempuan itu. Orang-orang itu niat banget membuka 'jejak digital' lama, menguntit sampai akun media sosial lain dan tentu saja ... bodyshaming habis-habisan. Ketika perempuan itu nggak tahan dan membalas, semakin banyak backlash yang dia dapat. 

Padahal, jujur saja apa yang ditulis perempuan itu tidak membahayakan kok! Ini juga bukan yang pertama kalinya orang yang ingin berbagi positive vibes malah kena rundung. Akhirnya boro-boro mau berdiskusi damai dengan menuliskan opini! Udahlah, saya putuskan untuk rehat sejenak. 

Saya lebih banyak menggunakan instagram dan itupun saya banyak follow akun-akun yang 'adem', antara lain madcatnip, lalaartwork, yesimhotinthis dan banyak lagi akun 'adem' dengan ilustrasi-ilustrasi manis yang siap menyegarkan pikiran saya setiap kali saya buka instagram. Saya juga download Wattpad, Noveltoon dan Storial. Yang saya rasakan? Pikiran saya jadi lebih tenang. Saya jadi bisa lebih fokus dengan keadaan sekitar. Oh ya, saya juga follow akun perempuan-perempuan yang saya sebutkan tadi. And their positive vibes are amazing! Sayang orang-orang yang gemar ketubiran tidak bisa melihatnya :P their loss. 

Mungkin sebagian orang penasaran ya ... kenapa nggak saya blokir atau senyapkan saja orang-orang yang membuat saya kesal di twitter? Mungkin nanti kalau saya niat :P saya akan bebersih akun twitter saya, mute orang-orang yang toxic lalu follow akun-akun adem. Sementara ini ... saya masih nyaman dengan aplikasi-aplikasi baru saya. Biarlah Twitter dengan segala ketubirannya. Saya mau senang-senang dulu, hihihi :) 

Bali Raw - Paradise with Dire Price

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This is one of the best book I’ve ever read. I don’t know why there are so many bad reviews about this. I’m glad I ignored the comments on goodreads and carry on with my curiosity. Since page one, my journey throughout the underbelly of Bali was a series of roller coaster ride. The book began with a near-death experience by the author’s brother, due to a love triangle with a lady escort. This book is published in 2012, I hope several things had changed in Bali but however, it saddens me when people who wanted to help the author’s brother at first refused because he didn’t want to get into trouble.

The thing is, in Indonesia, there’s still some people who pushed other people around especially when they were in larger groups. When you wanted to help someone in trouble, sometimes you became the second victim yourself because other people accuse you as the culprit. Or if you arrive at the hospital, some people might accuse you and will turn you in to the police. Then, there’s ‘street justice’ where people who don’t even know the trouble start bashing you just to let out their anger.

Speaking of street justice, this book tells us a lot about it. It’s the survival of the fittest in the underbelly of Bali. You need to have lots of strength, knows a lot of ‘strong people’ and have a lot of money if you want to survive. One of them might help you to some point, but the chances of surviving long time is pretty low. It’s pretty much like other place such as Java or Sumatera. It’s okay if you just want to go with the tourism flow, like the beautiful colourful brochures. Visits the beautiful temples or lakes and then have a good rest. However if you want to blend with the locals and their lives, or try ‘to live a little dangerously’, it’s another story.

Not all people could be your friend – it’s obvious. Be careful of whom you called your friends. Sometimes they just wanna rob you dry and leave you once you have nothing. Bali Raw tells us how people who thought they find a family in Bali got their money taken from them even when they don’t realize. They got treated as a family but comes with a price. They paid for some of the family’s expenses.

This also the same with intimate relationship between tourists and locals. You might have heard about the ‘Cowboys in Paradise’ documentary, where some Bali surfers also work as gentlemen escorts for the Western and Japanese ladies. They have several reasons behind it, from earning for their families and just want to get easy money. You might also see a lot of foreign tourist walking around with their local spouses. Some of them were officially married, but some of them not.

Mind you, back when I was just graduated from high school and went to Bali for a holiday, I was walking down Kuta beach enjoying sunset when a local guy said hello. He told me I was pretty. He spoke to me in English and surprised (disappointed?) when he knew I was from Indonesia. I was 19 at that time. I thought he’s just a nice local / surfing instructor who took a shine on me. He told me he was a guide and gave me his name card, telling me to call him an he’ll show me around. I lost the card shortly due to my clumsiness ... but turned out it might just as well. I saw someone similar to him on the documentary. If it was him, what he meant, probably the other kind of guide. Well, his offer might do better on other tourists with the same ‘guide’ meaning as he is.

Like the 40 years old Western woman who got a lot of boyfriends there. She slept with different guy every night and then she went home to play wife and mum. Well, that’s just the life of some people, I suppose. Sometimes, this kind of relationship escalate into more commited one. The tourists who fall in love with the escorts try to pay the brothel keeper, so the escorts could be free from their jobs. Afterwards, the escorts will be theirs but they often get back to their old jobs. Or cheat on them once they fly back to their countries.

In Bali, you might get a lot of stuffs easily from pirated DVDs to drugs. The writer’s friend drank fifteen pills (yes, you read it right, fifteen pills) of ephedrine as if they were M&Ms and ended up having erectile dysfunction – which is quite light overdose effect compare to respiratory failure to me. However, they also came in dire consequences. You might read further about how your holiday could easily turn into a long term nightmare in Snowing in Bali and Hotel K by Kathryn Bonella. Bali is indeed the island of paradise. Tourists often came to let out their fatigue and frustration of daily life. They want to fulfill their bucket lists and not aware of the consequences.

According to Constitution number 35 year 2009 about Narcotics the penalty were different for the user, seller or courier. The progress of what might seem to be a ‘recreational drug’ act is lengthy and penalty could be rehabilitation, jail or even death (Like the Bali 9 case). So for your own sake, do think about the impact of every actions you make in holiday destination. Even if you do something as ‘harmless’ as drinking, remember to do it responsibly. The author’s friend involved in a tragic accident because he drank a lot of beer and then ride a motorcycle, wearing only cheap plastic helmet that breaks easily.

For me this is an amazing book. People should read this before going for a holiday abroad as a warning about what might happen. What might seem like endless paradise can turn into a nightmare in a matter of seconds. Make sure you know the law on that country, as well as browse the warnings from people who already been there.

Because in this world, paradise often comes with dire price. 

Suicide Footage(s)

Few days ago, my senior at the hospital sent a video in forensic pathology group. The video showed a guy, who sat at the edge of a highway and seemed distraught. Meanwhile, few online ojek drivers ran under the highway, waving their hands and some of them made cross sign with both arms. The man was trying to kill himself, while the ojek drivers along with the person who recorded the incidence  yelled at him. 

"Bro! Stop! Don't!!" 

"Istighfar!! (asked for Allah's forgivenes)" 

The guy ended up not jumping ... thank God for that. All the persuation of online ojek drivers worked wonders. Turned out, he was depressed because his girlfriend broke up with him. The police quickly helped him as soon as he decided not to jump. 

Despite the situation, I felt warmth in my heart seeing the people's reactions. They didn't know the guy and yet they still wanted to help him. It reminded me of an old man in Australia called Don Ritchie, who just passed away. People called him Australian Angel, because he often stopped people who wanted to jump off the cliff on The Gap by offering them a visit to his house for a cup of tea or beer. 

Every morning, he always scanned the cliff from his house windows. If he saw someone who seemed suspiciously stood too close to the edge, he rushed off to approach them. To think, what's in it for him? Some of his efforts nearly cost him his life. When he was stopping a woman from jumping, he almost fell with her as well. 

"You can't just sit there and watch them," says Ritchie. "You gotta try and save them. It's pretty simple." 

Those kind of people were such a contrast with another suicide footage video I saw the other day. It was a video from Lampung, where a guy who also broke up with his girlfriend stood at the edge of Trans Mart building. The one who recorded it said, "come on now ... jump! Jump!" as if it's a game. Then when he actually jumped, she screamed in fear. When the news were out, many judgemental and hurtful comments were typed on the comment coloumn. Comments such as "Good riddance.", and "Idiot." were some of the comments without hurtful swear words in it. 

Many people think suicide as selfish act, as if people who tried to do it were doing it just to hurt the others. They didn't realize how much pain those people had been through. They didn't want to die. They just wanted the pain to stop. Their minds couldn't think clearly because of the pain they felt. At that time, the 'fight or flee' part of the mind took control and because they were too tired to fight, they tried to flee. 

We cannot judge people who tried to kill themselves. I'm not an expert in psychology or psychiatry... but I agree with Mr. Don Ritchie in this. It's pretty simple. We cannot just sit there and watch people suffer. We got to try and save them. We didn't have to give them lengthy-motivator talks. Sometimes we just offer them something to drink and listen to their problems, that's what they need the most. After all, what is it for us if we mock or judge them? Or worse, encouraging them to take their own lives?

Being hateful and mean towards people who are in trouble would not take you anywhere. Sabotaging other people's life will not make it easier for you to enter Heaven - if you are a believer. I believe that The Kind and Merciful Allah - Whom I believe in - is not like the mean boss in the office who loved to see his employees fighting each other in order to get reward. He owns every single thing, both that could be seen and not. He did not need us to fight each other because we wanted to be the best in His eyes. Allah is too merciful for that. 

Him, The Creator, has kindness that no one would ever imagine. Small kindness would lead us closer to Him. He loved every single soul as His. Regarding His kindness (that is beyond human's mind), He wanted us to love one another. Thus, the humanity. Do kindness as our effort to love The Kind and Merciful Allah back, as well as for our brothers and sisters in this world. If you're not a believer, then do it for humanity. 

After all, the world is a temporary place for us. Despite believing in afterlife or not, why don't we make the best of it by being kind to each other?