Random Ramblings

You know one of the signs that you're actually going somewhere instead of just walking around in circles? is that you could hardly recognize who you are anymore. Or perhaps you found the reflection of the old you that you used to think as the 'ideal' self on someone else, and finding yourself loathing that ignorant-arrogant prick so much. The one who thought oneself booksmart, thinking that on has every dang thing figured out. The one who thought that science is the key of every questions in life, yet would stuck like upside-down dung beetle when life showed us something mightier and out of control. 

You even hate the phrase 'growing up' so much now. Growing up implies that you're becoming the better version of yourself. Now, you cannot tell are you getting better or worse. For those who had known you before, you're a foolish. You're becoming what they always stuck up their noses at. You're becoming a common person. An example of what society expect every one to be. Even though they know perfectly damn well this is not what you wish you could be before. 

You changed so much. Like Alice in Wonderland. You asked every creature you meet in between but they would scowl, laugh or gave you vague answers in stupid rhymes. Sometimes, they simply fly away leaving your questions unanswered. Who are you? Where are you supposed to go? And as the time goes those question and dozen others inside your head don't mean shit to you anymore. 

So you keep on walking. And walking. Wishing you get somewhere. You tried not to get your hopes up. Not planning anything. Stop wishing for anything. You just wanted to be happy and that's what you wanna do.